SCOTTY - yeah, we're like the coyote and the sheepdog in that looney tunes cartoon, you know. punch the clock, try to get the drop on each other, punch the clock and go have a drink. it's a beautiful thing, man. beautiful.

p.s. Ok, my hair was orange at the time, I admit it. But I don't own any purple clothes, let alone clothes with flowers on them. Come on, who am I in this cartoon, Holly Hobby? You’re a ****face.

HOLMES - Well, seeing that this was my first appearance in the strip I was pretty excited. Then I learned that I would be saying the same damn line every time. It really sucked because I only got paid to say it once. Cheap bastards.

CRACKA - Ok, so I'm a little smug about how great Canada is sometimes, and really, what's wrong with that? It is a great place. But I don't mind the jabs, no, it's ok. I just know that all you Americans are really jealous. Treasonous Bastards! The commonwealth will prevail!!!

JONES - Man I look sexy with a beard.

HOLMES - He does. He does.

HOLMES - That's not what I said!

CRACKA - If only you knew...

CRACKA - This one always brings a tear to my eye... But I'll never be your girlfriend.

JONES - I like pie.

BISHOP - This happens. Often.

JONES - This strip is brought to you by Call of Duty and Call of Duty: United Offensive. "The artist's choice in wasting time when freelance projects are due."

HOLMES - I am not a Nazi.

JAMIE - Yes, he is. But he's in a 12 step program.

JAMIE - So gripping, so powerful, so mean it'll make you cry!

BISHOP - Camper!

SCOTTY - Hey, do you think Jones is the only one who even tries to get real work done anymore? Jones, when was your last "Holmes" day? Dude, you should just take a "Holmes" day. It's gotta be time.

BISHOP - The genius of this strip is that the reader will never know if that is the Beatles playing or me singing along to a midi.

BISHOP - She's gone...

BISHOP - Great. Now he's gone...